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5 Reasons Why James Marsden Never Gets the Girl

5 Reasons Why James Marsden Never Gets the Girl

Marsden - Sad -

When it comes to on-screen marriages, no amount of chivalry and million dollar smiles will cut it. James Marsden is just sh*t out of luck!

It almost seems as though Marsden is cast simply to be cheated on and tossed aside like a gently used ken doll. The irony is that in almost all these ditch-Marsden flicks, his character is the superior man in all categories… except actually getting the girl to stick around. Whether to a man from his partner’s past, or a random stranger she’s just met, it’s a sure bet that Marsden’s on-screen Mrs. will be moving on and he will be sleeping alone by the end of most of his movies.

So, let’s allow the empirical data to do the talking as we list off ‘5 Reasons Why James Marsden Never Gets the Girl.’

Marsden - Enchanted -

5. Prince Edward in “Enchanted” (2007)

I seek a beautiful girl. My life partner, my one coquette, the answer to my love’s duet.

In Walt Disney’s “Enchanted,” James Marsden plays Edward,  a charming and good-hearted fairy tale prince, who, after saving the beautiful Giselle (Amy Adams), falls madly in love with her. When Giselle is swept away from their fairy tale kingdom and abandoned in the very real and gritty New York City, the gallant Prince Edward embarks on a trans-dimensional quest to save his beloved bride-to-be. After much self-sacrifice, trials, and tribulations, Giselle ultimately falls for the NYC Divorce lawyer (Patrick Dempsy) she just met, choosing him over Prince Edward.


The Dirty: So basically, a prince goes on a tireless quest to a far away and strange land to save his vapid bride-to-be only to get kicked to the curb for a divorce attorney. Ouch…


The Silver Lining: After getting ditched by his “Cinderella,” Mardsen gets to take Nancy (Idina Menzel) back to his fairy tale kingdom. That would be enough to leave most men “Frozen” with anticipation… (see what I did there?). Not a bad consolation.

About The Author


Since his wee lad-dom, Pooya has been a sommelier of cinema. It was likely some acting bug, fallen from the dust riddled ruby curtains of an enchanted old stage that did it. Those cinematic scarabs must have burrowed deep into his brain, irreversibly altering his mind, turning the poor boy down a dismal path. From his earliest years the strange boy would aimlessly wander the aisles of countless video rental stores, amassing his trivial knowledge with vigor. These actions befuddled the boy’s parents, who still would lovingly oblige his unusual attraction to the motion picture. Often seeking refuge in the cushioned seating of his local movie theater, the odd adolescent would immerse himself in the scripted and effects riddled realities unfolding on the screen before him. During his collegiate years, he was twice spotted on stage performing bizarre theatrical rituals before awe-struck audiences. When he departed from academia, he left behind his youth in exchange for a labor routine, but the strange young man never lost his long-cultivated love of film. Recently, Pooya was approached by to join their budding team of entertainment bloggers. After hours of coaxing and an undisclosed number of honey jars, he accepted their offer. Finally he had come full circle. Finally, at, he was home.

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Drew Russell

This is so true and Unfair.

Jia Drisdom

I actually did a Google search for “why does James Marsden never get the girl?” It totally sucks because it is so true. I always feel so bad for him because he is always such a good guy in his movies.

Anony Mpls

Your article does not describe “Why James Marsden Never Gets the Girl” as advertised. It lists five times that it did happen and rehashes those scenarios.

Really, dig deeper. Author and commenters alike.







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