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‘Return of the Jedi’ Stormtroopers Met This Disgusting Ewok Fate

‘Return of the Jedi’ Stormtroopers Met This Disgusting Ewok Fate

Not so cute like you thought…

The Ewoks may seem cute but the fate of their enemies may change your mind about them…

When we think of the Ewoks we think of these cute and cuddly teddy bear like creatures. But while many may associate those traits with the Ewoks, they are a classic example of when not to judge a book by its cover. They may have assisted the Rebels in winning the Battle of Endor, but don’t let their nobility and appearance fool you. The Rebellion’s furry little friends are actually savage cannibals who ate the Empire’s soldiers!

As our heroes arrive they are met with resistance from the Empire which they quickly resolve only to be separated from Leia. While they are regrouping and retracing their steps, Chewbacca is baited into a trap which results in himself along with Luke, Han, C-3PO, and R2-D2 caught in a net. As they free themselves they are immediately surrounded by Ewoks who become entranced by C-3PO mistaking him for a god. While he is immediately worshiped, the others are bound and brought back to the Ewok camp for a rather unsavory purpose.


A “banquet” in C-3PO’s honor

In honor of their newfound god (C-3PO), the Ewoks are preparing a banquet in C-3PO’s honor. But what the heroes soon find out is that the banquet consists of them being cooked as the main course. That’s right, they are prepared to feast on human flesh.

Cut to a few scenes later we find that our heroes have thwarted their plans by manipulating them through Luke and C-3PO. It wasn’t logic or reasoning that deterred these savage creatures from their feast but fear. Despite C-3PO (their new god) commanding them not to eat his friends, it was Luke using the force to levitate C-3PO that finally broke their determination. This shows how primal these creatures truly are when their hunger can only be countered with fear.

After this, alliances are formed as the Ewoks accept the others as part of their tribe. This eventually leads to the Rebels gaining the support of the Ewoks who join them in the battle to shut down the shields to the second Death Star. While they are small, they are also resourceful and powerful in numbers as they are able to take down trained Stormtroopers using their style of guerilla warfare. The battle itself is a battle for the side of good, but the fate of the Stormtroopers after the battle ends is what is truly disturbing.


Here are the heads, where are the bodies??

In the final celebration one of the first scenes we see is one of the Ewoks playing the drums on an instrument made of Stormtrooper helmets…or possibly heads. At first this seems rather innocent and jovial given that the helmets of war are now being used as an instrument of joy. But what happened to the bodies?

The Ewoks are tribal carnivores as we’ve seen from early on when the heroes first encountered them. They live off of their land and their culture is practically absent of any sort of modern technology. Given their tribal system and the “banquet” they were attempting to prepare earlier in the film, it’s more than logical to say that they didn’t let that Stormtrooper meat go to waste. If you wonder what happened to all of those bodies, then you do not have to wonder long.

The fate of the Stormtroopers is that they became meals for the Ewoks!

About The Author


Ryan has been fascinated with film and pop culture since childhood. Throughout college he "played it safe" taking the more lucrative route of being a computer programmer while squeezing in film related courses where he could...but even during his post college career, he could never escape his true passion. After following one of his favorite blogs for a long time, he approached the site's Editor about writing and they reluctantly gave him a shot. He later became their Senior Writer which led to a variety of other projects, radio show appearances, features, and high profile celebrity interviews. Despite his success with blogging, he still wanted more so in order to expand his creative addiction, he merged his IT skills and blogging know-how to create which has continued to grow into a creative Mecca of pop-culture fun and integrity.   [email protected]    Film Fad

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