Marsden - Sad -

When it comes to on-screen marriages, no amount of chivalry and million dollar smiles will cut it. James Marsden is just sh*t out of luck!

It almost seems as though Marsden is cast simply to be cheated on and tossed aside like a gently used ken doll. The irony is that in almost all these ditch-Marsden flicks, his character is the superior man in all categories… except actually getting the girl to stick around. Whether to a man from his partner’s past, or a random stranger she’s just met, it’s a sure bet that Marsden’s on-screen Mrs. will be moving on and he will be sleeping alone by the end of most of his movies.

So, let’s allow the empirical data to do the talking as we list off ‘5 Reasons Why James Marsden Never Gets the Girl.’

Marsden - Enchanted -

5. Prince Edward in “Enchanted” (2007)

I seek a beautiful girl. My life partner, my one coquette, the answer to my love’s duet.

In Walt Disney’s “Enchanted,” James Marsden plays Edward,  a charming and good-hearted fairy tale prince, who, after saving the beautiful Giselle (Amy Adams), falls madly in love with her. When Giselle is swept away from their fairy tale kingdom and abandoned in the very real and gritty New York City, the gallant Prince Edward embarks on a trans-dimensional quest to save his beloved bride-to-be. After much self-sacrifice, trials, and tribulations, Giselle ultimately falls for the NYC Divorce lawyer (Patrick Dempsy) she just met, choosing him over Prince Edward.


The Dirty: So basically, a prince goes on a tireless quest to a far away and strange land to save his vapid bride-to-be only to get kicked to the curb for a divorce attorney. Ouch…


The Silver Lining: After getting ditched by his “Cinderella,” Mardsen gets to take Nancy (Idina Menzel) back to his fairy tale kingdom. That would be enough to leave most men “Frozen” with anticipation… (see what I did there?). Not a bad consolation.